September 2008 Archives

I was watching Meet the Parents on television the other night, and was reminded of how much this movie annoyed me. Sure it had a lot of laughs, but it really irritated me the way Ben Stiller gets walked all over by his girlfriend's family and friends, and she never stands up for him (until the end, of course).

If I was him, I would have dumped her halfway through the movie. And then I would have beaten the crap out of her family, eaten their stupid cat, and burned their house down.

The scene that irked me the most was the volley ball in the pool sequence. They're at the house of his girlfriend's ex-fiancé (Owen Wilson) playing volley ball in the pool. Owen Wilson spikes the ball right at Ben Stiller's head, nearly hitting him. The girlfriend high fives Owen Wilson and makes some idiotic reference to Top Gun. I would have dumped the bitch right there, stomped on Owen Wilson's face, and the peed in the pool.

Man that movie irritated me.

Attended Bill Bailey's performance at the State Theater in Sydney last night. Hilarity ensued.

He played the love song as his finale:

Posted on Digg earlier:

Guess which one is the most awesome:

That's right. Old school.

Someone actually said to me today, "Rob, I would like you to introduce your fist to my face."^{[ * ]}

Being the cautious type, I was hesitant to make the introductions, but the fellow was really quite persistent. So great was his persistence in fact, that I almost gave in.

"Believe me ____ [name redacted]," I said to him, "my fist is also quite eager to make your face's acquaintance. However, I really don't think it would be appropriate to put them together at the moment. Maybe some other time?" He agreed, though rather reluctantly.

So in the end no introductions were made, though I would be less than truthful if I said that no pang of regret was felt for having passed on the opportunity.

^{[ * ]}Okay, so he didn't use those exact words, but that is the gist of what he was saying.

Jen and I made some nice Eggs Benedict for breakfast this morning, even making the hollandaise sauce from scratch. It turned out quite nice, but a lesson was learned: do not make hollandaise sauce, buy it.

It was a huge pain; whisking the egg yolks, adding cubes of butter, repeat. All this in a dish that is set in a saucepan of water over heat. You have to make sure that the sauce doesn't just turn into scrambled eggs.

When we first tasted it, it just tasted like melted butter... ick. But once we added lemon juice and salt and pepper, it started to actually taste like hollandaise sauce. In the end we also added some corn flour to thicken it, which is probably cheating, but oh well; it did the trick. From now on we will be purchasing pre-made hollandaise.

Picked up issue #1 of The Stand: Captain Trips today, along with issue # 1 of The Dark Tower: Treachery.

And he wants us to watch hot women in lingerie playing football.

A Lingerie League of their Own

A league of lingerie-clad women playing football is no longer a fantasy, it's a reality. Lingerie Football is back, better and bigger than ever. Based on the Super Bowl halftime gimmick of the same name, Lingerie Football is now a league and it's expanding.

Next year, the LFL will consist of 10 teams across the nation. The teams will consist of the Los Angeles Temptation, Phoenix Scorch, Seattle Mist, San Diego Seduction, Dallas Desire, New England Euphoria, Chicago Bliss, Atlanta Steam, Miami Caliente and Tampa Breeze. The games are set to air on cable television, making their debut in Fall 2009.

Now this is the true meaning of fantasy football.

[A]bout 25 members [of the National Alliance of Families for the Return of America's Missing Servicemen and Women] went to a Senate office building, hoping to meet with McCain. As they stood in the hall, McCain and an aide walked by.

Six people present have written statements describing what they saw. According to the accounts, McCain waved his hand to shoo away Jeannette Jenkins, whose cousin was last seen in South Vietnam in 1970, causing her to hit a wall.

As McCain continued walking, Jane Duke Gaylor, the mother of another missing serviceman, approached the senator. Gaylor, in a wheelchair equipped with portable oxygen, stretched her arms toward McCain.

"McCain stopped, glared at her, raised his left arm ready to strike her, composed himself and pushed the wheelchair away from him," according to Eleanor Apodaca, the sister of an Air Force captain missing since 1967.

McCain needs a new campaign slogan: "I didn't care if that bitch was in a wheel chair. She was in my way. Vote McCain." Or maybe "Fuck Cripples. Vote McCain." That would rule. I might even vote for McCain if he had an awesome slogan like that.

Jen made the greatest comment ever while we were watching Lethal Weapon on TV Friday night:

"I wonder if he hated the Jews when he made this movie."

I thought it was hilarious, but maybe you had to be there.

I've never considered myself racist, but I recently realized that there is one race that I truly despise: the human race.

I really just can't stand people. When ever something really pisses me off, it can almost always be traced back to at least one person.

I get on the train in the morning and they're all over the place, getting in my way, being loud and stupid, and just generally being a huge pain in the ass. I won't even go into the 8 to 9 hours that I'm at work. On the train going home, it's the same shit; sometimes worse depending on what time I leave.

I just can't get away from people. They're the most persistent parasites on the planet.

Here we have a still frame of Sarah Palin from the RNC, supposedly striking a Hitler pose. There are two things that irritate me about this:

1. It's probably taken out of context. Maybe she was making a sweeping gesture, and this single frame shows her arm at the top of the arc. Maybe she was waving and in this picture it looks like she is making a rather unfortunate gesture.
2. There are plenty of legitimate reasons to criticize her. Pointing to this and saying "OMG shes nazi!!!11" is sensationalistic bullshit.

I normally don't post anything regarding my political views, but with the constant news coverage of the upcoming US presidential elections, and even Lindsay Lohan weighing in, I thought it might be a good time to throw in my two cents.

My stance on any issue can be summed up in the following two sentences: I am right. You are wrong.

If you find yourself unsure whether your stance on one of the issues is right or not, just ask yourself this question: "Am I Rob?" If you answered "no" (and unless you are me, that should be your answer) then you are wrong.

Questions, comments, concerns? E-mail me or leave a comment.

Right now I have two possible tag lines for the site:

1. "Roadkill on the Information Super Highway"
2. "Get robbed and ruffed up"

Any preference between the two? Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Please bear with me. Just upgraded to MovableType 4.21 and decided to start over with the default template set. I think it's time to admit to myself that I am a programmer, not a designer. My strengths lie much more in the arena of backend business logic than in making pretty interfaces.

Still got some re-organizing to do. The old content should be back shortly. On the other hand, I'm toying with the idea of scrapping my old posts and starting from scratch. Considering that approximately 1.3 people read this site, it probably does not matter much either way.

More to come...