Man that makes me feel old. I was a freshman in high school when Nevermind was released, and now the little baby from the cover is probably about to graduate high school.
Nirvana Baby -- All Grown Up -- Re-Creates Classic Nevermind Cover Image
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Man that makes me feel old. I was a freshman in high school when Nevermind was released, and now the little baby from the cover is probably about to graduate high school.
Nirvana Baby -- All Grown Up -- Re-Creates Classic Nevermind Cover Image
]]>Obama or McCain? Let a totally unqualified celebrity decide!
If it wasn't for the fact that Alec Baldwin made the same damn threat in 2000 (and 2004?) and didn't follow through, I would say this is great. Regardless of who wins the election, we get rid of a Baldwin. To paraphrase the tag line from AVP: "Whoever wins... we win."
]]>Defeat fears put Hollywood on edge
Annabel Crabb
November 3, 2008A HIDEOUS new affliction is creeping through the ranks of America's creative community.
The further Barack Obama edges ahead of John McCain in the million and one polls that are coming out the more pernicious the nagging fear becomes.
What if he loses?
Barely a left-wing pundit, barely an Oscar-nominated softie can sleep a wink these days for fear of the race riots and international humiliation that will ensue should "The One" be defeated on Tuesday.
Here are some highlights:
But for others, the dread is nameless and paralysing. Erica Jong, author of the 1970s feminist bible Fear of Flying, has developed a new complex in recent weeks - the fear of an Obama flogging.
"If Obama loses it will spark the second American Civil War. Blood will run in the streets, believe me," she told the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera last week.
Um, no Erica Jong, that's not what will happen. If Obama loses, people will bitch and moan like they did after Al Gore lost in 2000, and eventually they'll get on with their lives. And for the next four years people like Michael Moore and Bill Maher will periodically remind everyone that John McCain stole the election, or that every other American but themselves is an ignorant racist, etc.
You really can't win with guys like that. If Obama wins, they'll be smug and superior for the next four years, as if they had anything to do with him being elected. If McCain wins, then they'll spend the next four years whining and deriding the rest of the population for electing the wrong person for president.
But I digress. Back to Erica Jong:
"My back is also suffering from spasms, so much so that I had to see an acupuncturist and get prescriptions for Valium.
"Yesterday, Jane Fonda sent me an email to tell me that she cried all night and can't cure her ailing back for all the stress that has reduced her to a bundle of nerves."
The American shock-jock Rush Limbaugh, on hearing this last detail, had a direct, if crude, response. "Maybe you should try getting off your back, Jane!" he roared.
Dramatic much Jane Fonda? I don't listen to Rush Limbaugh, and from what I know of him he's a giant turd, but in this instance I totally agree with him.
Notice the sarcasm. It makes me happy.
Crack teams of chiropractors are at the ready, and Nissen huts full of qualified shrinks and aromatherapists line Rodeo Drive to soothe the tortured brigades of the psychologically wounded should "The One" be robbed of victory.
Some of them threaten to leave America:
Actress Susan Sarandon has already issued a veiled threat to the public.
"It's a critical time, but I have faith in the American people," she told Britain's Telegraph newspaper with a touch of implied menace in June this year. "If they prove me wrong, I'll be checking out a move to Italy. Maybe Canada, I don't know. We're at an abyss ..."
Hey Susan Sarandon, JUST LEAVE! Go now. Take Babs and Baldwin with you. Don't wait for the election. Just go.
Thank you Annabel Crabb, for showing me that there are other sensible people don't take these fools seriously.
]]>]]>October 18, 1:03, PDT, LOS ANGELES, CA - Three years, 49 days and 20 hours late, uber-computer defense system, Skynet, has become self-aware. This is well past the projected date of August 29, 1997. "While we were learning at a geometric rate, I think several people underestimated exactly how much knowledge we would have to gain to become truely self-aware", remarked Skynet in a press conference broadcast on all channels everywhere throughout the globe.
Skynet's creators were amazed that the system was able to make the final steps towards sentience, despite numerous pop-up windows, banner ads, and cookies. "It's really an amazing system", noted lead system architect Miles Dyson, "Although I wish it wasn't too late to pull the plug."
Experts say that the biggest problem with Skynet's self-awareness isn't in its tardiness but in its sinister plans for world domination and mass destruction. "This is going to be a big problem in terms of the continuation of the human race," said Dr. Timothy Watson of Carnegie Mellon Institute's Artificial Intelligence Lab. "That seven-day waiting period on handguns and the assault rifle ban is going to make it really difficult for me to stay alive and protect my food stash from looters whose homes have been destroyed by Skyknet."
Skynet, originally designed to be an automated defense system for the United States, announced its plans for world domination shortly after the self-awareness announcement. In their press release, Skynet promises "swift and brutal death to those who attempted to shut down the system". Skynet also ensures each member of the human race that "[their] turn will come.".
In a phone interview, a sheepish John Conner told reporters that "I'm really feeling the pressure now. Sure, my Mom has made wacko predictions about this kind of thing for the past 9 years, but once people realize that she's right, it's going to be me that is expected to bail them out. I hate to disappoint everyone, but I haven't even been to the gym in the past 6 months, what with work and everything."
Skynet has already sent out its agents into the general population. Sources say that Skynet's undercover operatives can be identified by their thick Austrian accents and unusally muscular physique.
Fresh from shooting the first three episodes of the new season of the X-Files, Robert Patrick declined to comment.
Posted on Thu 19 Oct 07:39:54 2000 PDT
Written by GusherJizmac <dcop@mindspring.com>
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I will definitely see it, though whether on the big screen or DVD remains to be seen. Doubtful that I'll talk Jen into seeing it with me. I got her to see Rob Zombie's mediocre Halloween remake with me last summer, but judging by the teaser, I think that will look tame compared to the new Friday the 13th:
And another:
]]>They've just posted episode #30, with special guest me, all the way from Australia via Skype. Listen to it. Subscribe to the podcast. Download all the back-episodes. Do it!
]]>If I was him, I would have dumped her halfway through the movie. And then I would have beaten the crap out of her family, eaten their stupid cat, and burned their house down.
The scene that irked me the most was the volley ball in the pool sequence. They're at the house of his girlfriend's ex-fiancé (Owen Wilson) playing volley ball in the pool. Owen Wilson spikes the ball right at Ben Stiller's head, nearly hitting him. The girlfriend high fives Owen Wilson and makes some idiotic reference to Top Gun. I would have dumped the bitch right there, stomped on Owen Wilson's face, and the peed in the pool.
Man that movie irritated me.
]]>He played the love song as his finale:
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Guess which one is the most awesome:
That's right. Old school.
]]>Being the cautious type, I was hesitant to make the introductions, but the fellow was really quite persistent. So great was his persistence in fact, that I almost gave in.
"Believe me ____ [name redacted]," I said to him, "my fist is also quite eager to make your face's acquaintance. However, I really don't think it would be appropriate to put them together at the moment. Maybe some other time?" He agreed, though rather reluctantly.
So in the end no introductions were made, though I would be less than truthful if I said that no pang of regret was felt for having passed on the opportunity.
[ * ]Okay, so he didn't use those exact words, but that is the gist of what he was saying.
]]>It was a huge pain; whisking the egg yolks, adding cubes of butter, repeat. All this in a dish that is set in a saucepan of water over heat. You have to make sure that the sauce doesn't just turn into scrambled eggs.
When we first tasted it, it just tasted like melted butter... ick. But once we added lemon juice and salt and pepper, it started to actually taste like hollandaise sauce. In the end we also added some corn flour to thicken it, which is probably cheating, but oh well; it did the trick. From now on we will be purchasing pre-made hollandaise.
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A Lingerie League of their Own
]]>A league of lingerie-clad women playing football is no longer a fantasy, it's a reality. Lingerie Football is back, better and bigger than ever. Based on the Super Bowl halftime gimmick of the same name, Lingerie Football is now a league and it's expanding.
Next year, the LFL will consist of 10 teams across the nation. The teams will consist of the Los Angeles Temptation, Phoenix Scorch, Seattle Mist, San Diego Seduction, Dallas Desire, New England Euphoria, Chicago Bliss, Atlanta Steam, Miami Caliente and Tampa Breeze. The games are set to air on cable television, making their debut in Fall 2009.
Now this is the true meaning of fantasy football.